So when this old chap keeps showing up in my readings lately, I’m not sure what to make of it.  If you go the numerological route, the Emperor is (of course) associated with the number 4–what used to be my favorite number as a child (until my outrageous affinity with the Hermit and my nearly profound numerological connection to the number 9) cast 4 out into the cold Canadian winter like an unwanted house spider.  Farewell, childhood (the snowbanks conceal all).

I do know a surprising number of people (almost always men) who associate with the number 4–whether by choice or otherwise–and in many ways evoke the Emperor.  He can be cold, commanding, powerful, serious, structured, persuasive, and capable.  He builds his life around being a ruler, a leader, an authority figure–someone to be followed or obeyed.

I can’t say I’ve ever associated with the Emperor.  I consider myself much more down-to-earth, artistic, emotional.  And while I don’t consider myself a follower, I’m certainly not a leader–I am intolerant of both, refusing to be told what to do, refusing to compromise my beliefs, but also insistent on working alone.  It is hard for me to see the Emperor as myself or as someone to admire or respect, given the fact that I disassociate with authority on nearly all counts.

So what’s the deal here?  He shows up, uninvited, dominating my tarot readings with his infallible presence, for reasons I can’t understand.  At first, I tried to dismiss him, ignore him, until he showed up in every reading I did for two weeks–whether in a more complex spread or as a single-card draw.  More often than not he falls in a position of advice, focus, present or future, indicating this is who I am or who I must be, that these are qualities I must develop.  Needless to say, this leaves me perplexed and a little miffed.  Who is he to tell me what to do, who to be?

Given my resistance to this kind of authority, it took recognizing what I needed in my own life (outside the context of a tarot reading) for me to realize what the Emperor meant.  I’m at the tail-end of my college education (for now, anyway), as well as my nonimmigrant status.  Planning for the next year, or chapter, of my life has been daunting–not knowing where I’ll end up or what kind of job I’ll obtain, or whether or not I’ll be able to stay in this country after my year-long post-graduate visa runs out.  There are so many things I’d like to do with my life, and so few that draw income.  Nearly each one is sole-proprietorship–never do I desire to spend my life as an employee, or as an employer.  Never do I want to follow or lead, to answer to authority or tell others what to do.

But in a way, this is exactly where I need the Emperor’s skills–because he’s not just a ruler.  He’s an entrepreneur.  He answers to himself, and no one but himself, but does so by considering the needs of those around him.  He strives to provide structure in his own life as well as the lives of others, in the same way I strive to reach out and influence people through my writing, my blog, my tarot readings.  In this way, we are one and the same–each helping ourselves in order to help those around us–and must consider those around us in order to help ourselves.

Suddenly the number 4 makes sense.  Maybe the kid in me was onto something.

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(Images courtesy of the following tarot decks: Cat People, Rohrig, Hudes, Tarocchi di Vetro.)